Why are you reading this? Why should you even be interested in what I have to say on relationships? You must plan for the future; you cannot afford to live only in the moment of now. My Dad constantly reminds me that I am on the 10-year plan. That is, the choices I make now will impact my future life. All decisions have consequences; good decisions have pretty amazing consequences, and bad decisions can produce ugly consequences. You will pay for what you do, say, or think. In terms of relationships, you must plan for your future: marriage. The choices that you make about your current relationships will impact your future ones. Make the right choices; that is why you are reading this...

Know that guys and girls are very different. Girls are emotional; they have tender hearts and are often easily won over by guys who learn to speak their love language. They allow themselves to dream about “what might happen.” Guys are visual; what they see (and hear) directly impacts how they think and act. Guys are also rather blunt; they usually say (and often get) what they want.

Be considerate of the opposite gender. Girls should protect their brothers in Christ by dressing modestly and appropriately. Guys should communicate clearly with girls and not lead them on and allow them to fantasize.

Learn to invest in people, yet remain singularly independent. Do not ever hide from people or mask yourself to your friends. Do not wall yourself off from the world. Let people see the real you, but not to the extent that you give yourself away to them. People are not entitled to know all about you; but they are entitled to know you. You do not have to share every little detail of your heart with a person; but you must be real to them.

Change the focus of the relationship. The focus of a relationship colors how each person thinks, speaks, and acts. Take your eyes off yourself. Change your thinking from “what can I get?” to “what can I give?” Be about encouraging the other person in their walk with the Lord. Focus on service and fellowship, not on yourself.

Clearly communicate. Words are powerful; so do not lead the other person on by loosely throwing around terms and phrases. Say what you mean; do not beat around the bush. Do not guess what the other person may be thinking. Protect yourself and the other person by clearly defining the relationship and its boundaries. Hold to your standard and clearly state to the other person what that standard is; do not allow grey areas. An excellent measuring stick for clear communication is the question “would I say this to any other guy or girl?” If the answer to that question is anything but a solid yes, than you probably should not be saying it.

Do not dream. Face reality and do not allow yourself to dream about what was in the past, or what might be in the future. Do not allow yourself to fantasize about possibilities. As you think, so you will do. Channel your mental energy in the right direction.

Do not give out gratuitous physical touch. Do not be more physical than is necessary. While this does require each person to define “necessary,” the answer (to some extent) should be obvious. All physical touch signifies something. A kiss is never just a kiss. Everyone respond to physical touch; do not mislead another person with that tool. It can send the wrong message and open the doors to sin. Protect yourself (physically), the other person, and your future spouse, by having self-control.

Do not give the appearance of evil. Remember that actions speak far louder than words. Do not give an onlooker the opportunity to guess. Do not give someone the chance to question your motives, to wonder. That is, make sure that what you do, or what you say, reflects the intentions of your heart. As a Christian, those intentions should be in line with the teachings of the Bible. Realize that people are always watching, wondering, and wishing. Realize that everything you do and say will be scrutinized. Keep a check on yourself. Have someone evaluate your appearance. Be aware of how much time you spend communicating with someone: calling them, texting them, emailing them, talking to them online, hanging out with them one-on-one, and so on and so forth. Be aware of your physical touch. Confide in someone you trust and ask them how you appear.

Develop close friends of the same gender. Girls need to have close girlfriends they can confide in, take correction from, and be encouraged by. Guys need to have other men they can trust, ask for input, and take a rebuke from. Your closest friend should not be someone of the other gender. As you share your heart with someone, you will inevitably give them a piece of your heart. Keep yourself whole, and not just physically.

Finally, do not settle for less. Remember that you will attract the person that you are. If you are a loose person, you will attract loose people. If you hold to a rigid standard, you will attract someone with a similar standard. Decide who you are and what you believe; and once you’ve done that, don’t look back. Do not be pressured by everyone else around you. You will stick out. You weren’t made to fit in.

-Marguerite
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Ok, so now that I have your attention, let's look at the whole concept of the New Year. The way I see it, it's basically on line with the winter solstice celebrations in that it is pretty much a pagan love fest to bring in the new year of the calendar. Not that I completely disagree with it... I love staying up to 12am to watch a glass ball slowly descend to the floor and confetti come streaming down the buildings. (If they actually "dropped" the ball, then that might actually be fun to watch... seven millennium of bad luck?)

So what's the age-old idea about the new year? The resolutions, right? The thing that I find funny about people promising to be "better" in this new year is that they either never actually continue their promise, or they go at it with such vigor that they end up more screwed up than what they actually began. Thus, I resolve for this new year: to not have a new year's resolution. If everybody did this with their resolutions, I think people would stop taking themselves so seriously. I mean, come on, we're basically a big giant joke. If people would just see this, they would stop taking their problems so seriously, and they could actually get something done about them. hah, I think I will write a book on that someday, it might hit the top 10 worst-sellers of all time.

Sooooooo..... Oh yeah, anyway. haha, my point. ah yes. Ok, so people make these resolutions. Then, they expect to be able to completely reshape their lives for the better within a year and then at the end of the year somehow be superhuman or something... Either we don't learn from past years, or we are completely delusional about our histories. I'm guessing it's probably a mixture of both. As Christians, we realize the power of God in changing lives, and basically it's futile to try and change it through any other means possible. I struggle to even get out of bed in the mornings, there is no way that I'm gonna change my life for the better all by myself. I mean, I'm a big boy, but so is my life. Usually, when I attempt it, I screw everything up even worse, and I'm a worse mess than when I started... thus, no new year's resolutions for me... (except maybe something like: I resolve to sleep in later every day.. that's something I could live with. haha)

Anyway, I now have soccer to go to, so chau amigos... leave me an e-mail on topics you want me to write about... believe it or not, I'm running out of inspiration... AAAAAAAHHHHH....

ok, Connor over and out. Read more!